I initially wanted to write an article about this case but as the story unfolded it made more sense to allow David to write his story:

I have struggled with a compulsive disorder for about 9 years now.

To a 5 year old, I would explain it like this: You know how sometimes you get thoughts in your head that you can't control? Well, for me, those thoughts come in the form of a voice, telling me to do things that don't make any sense. It's like someone telling you to jump three times or you'll get in trouble, even though jumping has nothing to do with avoiding trouble.

I shared this experience with Adrian recently. He was fascinated by my story and asked if he could write about it to help others. I agreed, hoping it might help me overcome this compulsion as well. When Adrian asked how long I've dealt with this, I was shocked to realize it's been nearly a decade. He pointed out that I've spent over 3,000 hours on these irrational thoughts and behaviors. That's enough time to become an expert in a new skill! I could have learned to play piano, spent more time with loved ones, read books, meditated...

Adrian suggested to choose something else for that 1 hour a day, 30 hours a month, doing something meaningful to me instead of the compulsion. I chose to focus on self-care, meditating and relaxing. Adrian guided me through some relaxation techniques and asked me to visualize making progress.

Then Adrian asked a strange question: how would I make someone else develop this kind of compulsion? I told him I knew exactly how it started for me, going back to a specific moment in my past.

So how so I know when to give in to the compulsion? I told him there are a few triggers: when things change and I have to make a decision, when I'm feeling really good, or when I'm doing certain activities that have become associated with the compulsion. Lately, the thoughts have been dissipating more quickly, in 10-20 seconds. But sometimes they stick around and I give in and  I only stop when I start to feel bad.

Adrian pointed out that it seems strange I would feel uncomfortable feeling good for too long. I realized he was right - I want to feel great, but something stops me. We explored this and I came to see the compulsion probably developed as a way to limit how good I felt, since for a long time before that I felt bad constantly. Feeling good again was unfamiliar and frightening.

Adrian asked what would happen if I felt great for a whole week. At first, I said my wife would scold me (which was a shocking discovery to me), thinking she doesn't want me to feel good. But upon reflection, I realized she does want me to feel great - I was just having a strange belief my wife doens't want me to feel good. Adrian had me visualize feeling increasingly great, with my wife and family supporting me, until I was "swimming in a pool of greatness." I don't remember exactly how, probably Adrian did some magic work there, but it was so clear that I can feel great for long period of time. This was the start for me to see clearly a new brighter, big and clear future.

As I did this, the compulsion faded. I couldn't even remember what it was for some reason. Adrian had me try to recall it in different situations, but each time it slipped further away from me. He said this was a sign this will be easy process. To be sure, he asked how I'd know it was really gone. I said I'd be able to think about situations where it used to appear, feel great, and have the freedom to go in any direction I chose, so basically my freedom was back! I was able to choose another path.

Adrian guided me through visualizing this new reality, where I feel great and have endless options and possibilities. He had me step into this vision and experience what it would be like. I felt gratitude washing over me, cleansing me of any remaining traces of the compulsion.

To seal it in, Adrian had me fast forward 9 years and see how much I've achieved and how much impact feeling great and spreading that to others has had. I took time to let this new vision of freedom integrate fully into my mind and body. I feel the compulsion has truly gone for good, and a bright new chapter is beginning.

To clarify when I say compulsion I refer to when I was in the situation that I had no choice other than starting to imagine doing things that didn't made sense and feeling compelled, forced to do them. Not being able to remember the compulsion means for me that I wasn't getting into that place where I had no choice other but follow what the thoughts I had told me to do. I was able to find another place in my self that was filled with choice, with freedom.

Adrian asked if I can fully trust that feeling great is how I'm meant to live. I said yes - it's our human inheritance to experience life fully. He asked if I trust "driving by greatness." Again, I said yes.

Adrian then asked an important question: if I find myself doing the same habitual things I used to do as a result of the compulsion, but now have the freedom to choose not to do them, would that still be a compulsion? I said no, it would just be a habit. He said in that case, I can simply stop, express gratitude to my system that I don't need the habit anymore, and know it will fade in time.

I mentioned a fear of success coming up now that I'm thinking of new investments. Adrian said we'd discuss that next time. He explained the compulsion needed a trigger and pattern to exist. We cleared the trigger by seeing the "scary thoughts" I was creating were a habit, not reality. The habit wanted me to feel scared so the compulsion would activate. But I don't need to scare myself anymore.

The second gain of scaring myself was avoiding feeling too good. The habit was triggered by either feeling too good or old connections. The solution was seeing the habit as a "feature," not a flaw. Everything is a feature - it's how we look at it that turns it into a problem or a feature.

There are a few steps that I see now as helpful: deciding I want change, explaining the issue simply, belief change, exploration, discovering the second gain, habit change. The habit is still powerful but dissipates if I wait and I just laugh at it.

Two weeks after our last session, I told Adrian I can see the compulsion much more clearly now and can control it - when I get the impulse and habit, I can just stop. It's actually quite easy, though easier to just go with the impulse. But now I wonder how to simply not have the compulsion at all. Will it be with me my whole life?

Adrian compared it to a habit like taking the same route to work and stopping for pizza. To change that, I could take a different route. If I wanted to eat fruit instead, I'd go to a market selling fruit. It was very easy to see that new path in my mind.

He said the compulsion is trickier since the path is linked to so many situations. We could change how I do all things related to the compulsion, or replace the compulsion with something I want. Since the pathways are there, that would benefit me. Instead of imagining unpleasant things compulsively, I could do something else.

I asked what else I could do. Adrian asked what I want more in life. I said abundance, beauty, freedom, quality. He said to choose one. I chose quality of living.

Adrian said: from now on, when I get the compulsion impulse, to replace it with noticing the quality of the moment while I allow my subconscious to make the change.

Here is the follow up:

Adrian: So how is it going with replacing the compulsion with noticing the quality of the moment?
David: It’s interesting. At first I was struggling because the habit was still strong. But after a few days of consciously making an effort to shift to noticing the quality of the details in my surroundings and in my whole self when the habit came up, it started to get easier. Now shifting my focus is more natural. The "not making sense thoughts" barely come up at all.
Adrian: That’s great to hear. The habit was strong because it had years of reinforcement, so it will take continuous practice to fully replace it. But it seems you’ve made excellent progress.
David: Yes, I’m really pleased. I realised that I actually had this habit for way more than 9 years, probably for more than 20 years, but it wasn't bothering me too much back then, it was just part of my life. The freedom I feel now is wonderful. I never realized how much mental energy went into that compulsion until it started to fade.
Adrian: Absolutely. Compulsions, addictions and unhealthy habits in general take up an amazing amount of energy and mental space. So now what's next?

I now see why it's so easy to transform a compulsion. It's easy when you get the help that you need, and when you have the right questions revealing what is truly valuable to you. Adrian asked me insightful questions like:

• If I wanted to recreate your compulsion, how would I do it?
• When you feel discomfort, how do I know that is a problem?
• How are you scaring yourself?
• Do you really want to overcome this compulsion?
• How do I know when to have the compulsion?

Answering these questions put me on a path where it was impossible not to see that I was creating the scary thoughts and making myself scared. It was me having the habit, me having full control over it, and me who had to decide to notice the quality of the moment instead of imagining scary thoughts.

This is not without work - the work of noticing again and again that I have the habit and choosing again and again to laugh at it, saying: "Here it goes again, the habit is here, my system is so precise, right on time! I can really count on my system!"  Now seeing that I can actually use the habit to my advantage is mind-blowing. My unconscious literally listened for what I wanted, and when I have the same habit impulse, I get a thought about quality, saying: "Hey, now it's time to notice the quality of the moment."

Today I was feeling really upset because of something that happened at school during sports hour. I didn’t even realize how distressed I was at first. Here’s what happened:

We were playing basketball and one of my teammates kept accusing me of fouling him, even though I had only touched him while stealing the ball, which is allowed. He kept stopping the game and complaining to the teacher that my team was making mistakes, even though the teacher said I hadn’t actually fouled him. He was so focused on winning that he stopped caring about enjoying the game.

After about 15 minutes of this, I quit playing because I was so frustrated. I talked to my dad Adrian about it after school, and he could see how upset I still was. He asked me why I thought the other kid was acting that way, and I said because he just wanted to win. Dad explained that when people get overly focused on a goal, they lose sight of what really matters, like enjoying the game.

Even after we got ice cream, I was still bothered by what happened. So Dad suggested using the Heart Open Power steps to explore my feelings. I agreed, and he asked how I felt thinking about the situation. I said I felt tension, anger, and bad. He asked what thoughts I was having, and I said things like “He shouldn’t have done that!” and “What’s wrong with him?” Dad pointed out that those thoughts made sense for the feelings I was having.

Dad then asked if anything else around me during the game had felt wrong or bad. I realized everything else was fine - it was just what was happening in my own heart that was the problem. I could see I wasn’t in harmony with the world in that moment. Dad asked what was really valuable to me, and I said having fun and playing with my friends.

He then asked if I could gift the other kid the freedom to be who he is, while also noticing what's valuable to me. I said I could do that. After a few seconds, I felt so much more at peace - my headache even went away! I realized I have the power to allow others to be who they are. Before, I would have wanted to kick that kid out of the game, but now I saw I could choose a different response.

Dad said that when I'm in harmony, my system will suggest better ways of handling situations. I felt so much joy and gratitude in that moment. I gave Dad a big hug to thank him for helping me shift to a better way of seeing the world.

The most important thing is maintaining my own harmony - that will lead to peaceful, caring solutions rather than judgment, blame or rejection. I'm so lucky to have learned this way of living from my dad and others. Now I want to share it with everyone I can, because the joy and peace it brings is the greatest gift.

This post is the first post I wrote on 28 January 2021 after attending the first online NVC VIT. This was a turning point for me because I had the opportunity to have an experience of connecting with so many people, so many beautiful, curious and powerful people that were there for the same reason, united to reveal the beauty of life in all of us. I will be forever grateful to Robert Gonzales for his presence and care in guiding us through a process that forever affected the way I'm seeing things.

My intention for this post is to make you curious about opening a possibility that we don't hear too often. The possibility of opening your heart fully to allow the flow of life to manifest freely.

I'm starting an old journey. It's a journey I took before but without knowing it.

Now I'll continue this journey with intention.

The intention is in the name of this website.

I'm continuing a journey of the hearts open power. This journey started for a very long time... maybe even before our Universe existed. It's the journey of life. Life that is now in this moment manifesting through us, from us, reaching for life in all the beings in the Universe.

I can never forget the profound revelation I had when I became aware of the power that manifests when two open hearts touch each other. And even more power when more open hearts touch each other.

The profound liveness of the flow of life when you finally let life free to manifest, breaking all the walls of vulnerability, fear and words.

The connection with life that was always there... waiting... patiently... and sometimes we did connected with life and those experiences remain in our memories as something to get to... as something better to strive for.

Often we struggle so hard to fix things, to fix the world, trying so hard to touch that perfect moment we see in our minds. Who would have thought that behind our desire to get there into that better place is life... the power of life... that energy that we all feel manifesting through different feelings like frustration, anger, trying hard, fighting, running, trying to get away, trying to fix. And it's the life in us trying to reach and touch life, giving us the power.

Who would have thought that behind all that struggle there is so much beauty. So much beauty and power that longs to show itself to the whole world.

And who would have thought that when we open our hearts it's not only power that starts to flow through us. But also ease, freedom, purpose. With an open heart I can now see how I'm already whole, I already have everything I need right here where I am. I can see that we were built to enjoy life on this earth, to learn and to enrich life.

I can clearly see now that we are truly gifts to each other. Because only when we open our hearts to each other we are truly growing as a human being.

My intention is to invite you to take a walk with me, while I share my view on what I'm calling "the limitless experience" where you have no sense of separation or limits between you and the whole world. When you sense you are one with the whole world, and everything is really ok.

Regardless if what you are going to read is going to resonate with you or not, it's my longing to connect and express the beauty, the peace and the limitlessness of this experience with you.

These are a few drops of the beauty and wisdom I touched while I was taking a walk with my family, with my teachers, with my friends, with my students, with my desires, with my pets, with nature and with myself. I'm so aware now everytime I share something it will always come from one or more points of view. I tried to present here more points of view of this experience. But yet again this is still a linear presentation. This means if you will read this multiple times it will be different each time, as more details will unfold after your intellectual perception is gradually letting go of each concept presented here, after it's understood.

I used "limitless" because it's one of the top qualities popped into my awareness when I decided to write about this experience. But in the moments when we know we are now "OK", there are many qualities like effortlessness, wholeness, easiness, expansion into the world, connection with the world and with us, trust, openness and so much more as also mentioned a few below.

Contents

• Why do I want to share this with you?
• Details of the limitless experience
• Why, more often than not, this is not happening
• Exploring the conditions for the limitless experience to happen
• What is the intention will trigger this experience‌‌
• Living the limitless experience

Why do I want to share this with you?

Why do I want to share with you this experience of not being separate in any way from the world, of having an experience of being limitless, of having an experience of being in sync and full resonance with the whole world?

There is a simple answer for this, and the answer is, simply because this experience, it's so so full of life, so full of joy and full of total freedom, we all want it.

This is something way more precious if it's shared and way more powerful experienced together. Sharing this with you fills my heart with joy, as I'm savoring imagining you, my reader, is experiencing this while reading and experimenting with the different ways of looking at it.

This experience is available to all of us and it's closer to you than you might think.

You already know it. Usually it appears randomly in our life or in moments when we feel at home with what we are doing, fully immersed and enjoying our activity, when everything is flowing and happening by itself, when our hearts are open and filled with grace, beauty and harmony.

Details of the limitless experience‌‌

There are a few details you can notice, and are all happening at once:

• You don't sense a limit between your body and the world around you
• You experience the world as vibrating in total resonance, as you would be immersed in the most joyful beautiful song
• You sense you have way more power you thought available at your fingertips
• You sense you have abilities you never knew existed, right there available for you to enjoy
• You sense time doesn't seem so important,and even disappearing completely
• You know it's true and not a figment of your imagination
• You feel whole and one with the world
• Ease, freedom and effortless is manifesting in your whole self
• High quality and having a sense everything is doing itself will start to manifest in your experience
• Present in the moment, so much so often things seem brighter, more colourful, more alive
• You have an increased sensitivity to what is beautiful to you
• Expansion out into the world, an openness to, and a oneness with, your environment and with the others
• Your thoughts are soft, gentle and in sync with the freedom you are experiencing
• You sense you are in sync with what is happening right here and now
• You feel blessed and joyful‌‌☺️
• You sense you are supported by the whole planet

If this is so good there is no wonder we all want it. Let's explore why isn't this happening more often.

Why more often than not, this is not happening

Our system is built to function as a whole. Even if we can look at our system and notice parts like our feet, our hands, our head, our mouth, nose, eyes and so forth, they can't function without the others. So in this case it means there needs to be a flow of information and energy between them. When the flow of energy and information is going smoothly, then our system has some of the conditions to create the wholeness experience.

As we can see from the above details of this experience, one of the characteristics is everything is happening by itself. And this is exactly what wholeness means, everything is easy and is happening by itself.‌‌

So if wholeness does itself, we don't need to do anything because will create effort not in the characteristics of this experience.‌‌

So if we go by this supposition, wholeness is doing itself, it means whenever this experience of limitlessness is not happening we must be doing something interferes with flow of information and energy to go freely in our whole self, from the world and out into the world.‌‌

Exploring the conditions for limitless experience to happen

We can notice when limitless, wholeness experience is not happening we start to feel opposing feelings like:

• Tension
• Lack of space
• Narrowed
• Distressed
• Disconnected
• Separate
• Effort

In the same time specific thoughts appear like:

• I have to do this
• This is not enough
• I am lacking something
• There is something wrong with myself or with the world
• That has to happen
• This is hard

Probably, anyone will think thoughts like the above will start to have the above feelings.‌‌

At the same time if we start to observe the world, the environment in a way we can describe it, we will quickly see there is a contrast between what is happening in the environment and what is happening in yourself in the moment when you are not experiencing wholeness.‌‌

You can start asking yourself at this moment what is valuable to you. If you're not experienced in being clear what is valuable to you, this might take a while until it's going to be revealed to you.

You might discover things like this:

• I value easiness
• I value freedom
• I value connection
• I value a specific outcome
• I value care
• I value love
• I value friendship
• I value support

At the same time if you take a look at the above thoughts you'll quickly notice they are not resonating with what you value. ‌‌

So you could notice, for example, you value freedom but at the same time you have thoughts about things have to happen.‌‌ Or you might notice you value easiness but what you are doing feels hard.

If you want the freedom you need to let go of the "have to happen". This doesn't mean you give up on what you value, on what you want but it only means you are open for not to happen.

You can try it right now. It goes something like this:

I value my freedom a lot, I value what I want, but I'm open to not getting anything.

Try replacing what you value with your own wish and at the same time being open to it not to happen right now.‌‌

If you are curious and try the above as an experiment for 5-10 minutes, there is a big chance peace will start to flow within your whole self.‌‌

What intention will trigger this experience

Why, being willing to let go of something precious to us, brings so much peace inside of us?

It's because if we gift the freedom not to happen, it will allow our hearts to open to what is, and will allow us to grow and be an integral part of the whole world.

By taking this path we already start living the freedom we want. You feel how it feels to gift freedom to what you are wishing for.‌‌

If you had the courage to gift what you are wishing for the freedom to happen or not to happen, you might notice some specific feelings:

• Hope
• Smiling
• Connected
• Peace
• Unity
• Free
• Flow

In the same time there might be some specific thoughts:

• This is nice
• I wasn't expecting this
• I feel like smiling
• I could get used to this
• Everything is brighter and more colorful
• I can hear the birds singing now, this is so strange I wasn't hearing them before‌‌
• I'm really ok
• The world is ok

As you can see, it's in your power and effortless to gift this freedom to your wishes. ‌‌

So one of our abilities is to gift freedom and amazingly enough, we will feel free righ in the moment.

It's amazing, the joy, the beauty, the freedom, the easiness will start to manifest right there in your whole self, as soon as you start choosing living what you want right now.

‌After releasing the above limit, you can see nothing is sticking out of your experience, but every action, every sound, every feeling, every thought, becomes a part of the whole. It's like one huge moment, timeless. This came as a result of me being open for nothing to happen! It's very interesting how time literally disappears.

It's not about getting what you want, but about choosing to live what you want, it's about you choosing how you want to live right now.

As you are reading these words, you can have so many different experiences.

If you go about trying to get to the end faster, you'll feel that.

If while reading this, you have something on your mind worries you, you'll feel how it feels to read while worried.

If you choose to take your time while reading this, the experience will be different.

If you choose while reading this to take a walk with all the people contributing to HOP, so these words can reach your heart, you'll have a different experience.

If you choose to live from a different perspective, for example without "time" but seeing everything in terms of cause and effect will give you a totally different experience compared with when there is time.

If you choose to live without seeing yourself as having parts, you'll get a wholeness experience.

If you choose to live by taking care of your limits, your experience will be limitless, rewarding and fearless.

If you choose to give up the image you have about how you should be, and allow yourself to be how you are without anything added, you'll see and experience how the real you is.

What's beautiful is you received this gift of free-will when you were born.

If you use your gift of free-will right now as you read this, and consciously choose how to read this, you will have an experience of how it feels to use your free-will. You will have an experience of being free.

Our whole self needs the full range of possibilities in order to find balance, support and the freedom we're longing for.

I can gift myself the freedom so any specific result I might want, not to happen so I can focus on the endless possibilities I have to live the path, giving the freedom for everything to exist as a huge limitless experience.

There is a big smile on my face now when I'm discovering this intention.

Living the limitless experience

There is an ability, built in our design, and if we connect with it, will take care of our experience so everything is done effortlessly.

This is amazing, to connect with this area of ourselves that processes everything effortlessly in the most literal way possible.

This is not an ideal, this is possible in any moment of our life. This is in life’s design to do itself. But only if a few conditions are met.

You can see this everywhere if you only take a quick look. Here are a few:

• our skin healing by itself
• our coordination doing itself
• a new life is able to be born from the connection of woman and man
• learning
• remembering
• hair growing
• seeing beauty
• caring
• loving
• trees growing
• flowers blossoming
• Earth going around the Sun
• … The list is infinite

Effortless, limitless and doing itself is abundant and all around us. All we need to notice is it exists. If this exists everywhere, why wouldn’t this exist in our experience? And it does exist in us also. Actually this is the default experience. This is what happens if you stop interfering with this innate limitlessness. Effortlessness is what happens if we don’t try to “help” life to grow faster than it grows by itself.

Effortlessness is what happens when we stop thinking in terms of time but in terms of cause and effect.

Just when spring comes, the grass grows by itself.

There is this energy, actually many types of energies we have no control over, but if left alone, when they meet intelligence, they will be used to create total unity, wholeness and give us real experience of us having no limits. We’re not alone any more but all together in one unified experience.

Why not start to live right now for real, this support, this beauty, this energy it’s already here, waiting for you to give up trying to control your experience, and instead noticing the free support, the free energy is waiting to be allowed to do itself.

Our minds are so young… We sometimes think we know it all… But how boring would be?

Our mind thinks it can fix but…

There is no shortcut…

There is no hack…

After activity comes resting.

After eating comes washing dishes.

After hurrying comes exhaustion.

After allowing yourself to be as you are, comes joy and gratitude.

After using yourself out of support comes possible damage and unpleasant feelings.

After resting comes recovery.

When you get bored of suffering, take a look around at what is happening right now.

How easy it is to only live what is happening right now?

How easy it is, to give up that better image in your mind, even if it is for 1 second, and simply live here and now? And if you had the courage to give it up for 1 second, why not try 5 seconds… Why not try 5 minutes… Why not try a lifetime.

And even better why not realize, to get something outside of this moment is simply an illusion.

What can be done effortlessly can’t be done with effort.

If you feel effort, that’s not going to get you to be effortless.

In effort there is no freedom.

Freedom can’t be achieved by using effort.

If freedom is valuable to you, it’s only going to happen when you allow it not to happen.

Limitless experience is what happens when we take care of how we navigate in a way there are no limits in our experience.

This is a paradox between our perceptions. Because we have more than one perception. On one hand there is this experience of effortlessness and on one hand there is this experience of effort. But only one is willing to be in control, everytime we want control.

There is this experience of limitlessness but at the same time there is also the limited experience. You can look at them as good or bad, perfect or imperfect, but also we can learn from, as a moment to moment feedback on how we are using our intelligence to take care of our moment to moment experience.

There is this experience of wholeness, but at the same time there is this experience we are a bunch of parts. The wholeness experience is a direct moment to moment experience of how we see ourselves. If we see ourselves as parts stacked together like the things humans create, we'll have an experience of parts, of effort. If we make an experiment and give up this idea we have parts, we have a body and a mind, it will only take a few moments for our illusions, leading to so much effort, to crumble like a house of cards.

What if this experience of effortlessness, this experience of limitlessness is a result of the easiest thing in the world? What if this experience of everything doing itself is you being open to accept and explore what is happening right now. What if this experience is the path and not the result of the path. What if all it takes is for you to never finish having your heart open to what is.What if you can’t stop and fix your experience, but you can be open and flow with your experience endlessly, adapting and making sense as you go out directly living what is happening right now.

P.S. It's my wish you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. I hope you also have a big smile on your face, as I have it right now. In the same time, I want to issue a warning, far as reality goes, this approach is only useful if it helps you to stop interfering with your innate abilities you have, in a way that allows yourself to live as you are as a whole, being close to what you value and you already getting your reward moment by moment. I tried many years to try to create this experience intellectually, but I failed every time. Intellectually I can only make sense rationally how things work, but eventually it's when I see "reason" is not so important, but my openness to allow all my abilities and perceptions to be equally important, in a way that nothing sticks out, in a way there is a perfect balance between what I value and free-will.